broke two of the door handles off two my car and one of my neighbour's last night. not sure they were trying to steal the car, or even anything from within - just delighting in causing damage. so i've been to two garages, the police and spent half an hour on the phone to the insurers. given my excess this will cost me at least £50.

i am not 'down on youth' as a general rule but i'm sure these sorts of anti-social crimes are committed by bored teenagers - i expect jackfrost has to deal with this sort of sh**y behaviour everyday. i would like to make them pay back the £50 with interest, by doing some work around the place: plenty of low level gardening needs doing, and the cellar needs clearing out and there's always cleaning work. 10 hours for me and 10 hours for my neighbour should do the trick.

that is if the police ever catch them. which they won't. because its small beer, a bit of criminal damage. in the cop shop a TV declared that there were 1,023 less convictions last month 'which means 1,023 less crimes' - no it doesn't. it means 1,023 less convictions