i just wondered if anyone out there knew what the top orange light was for?

its just that no one round here seems to a) have them fitted b) have them working if fitted or c) know when to use them...

i have been meaning to write about driving in this county for a while. i think it could lay claim to being the worst in the country. not using indicators at junctions and especially roundabouts is almost de rigeur around here. coming out of side roads without waiting is another popular pasttime (perhaps we have a lot of french drivers still using that odd rule of the road from home that gives them priority.. but i doubt it). naturally driving whilst using a mobile phone is still very fashionable and will remain so until i am given special powers to kill all transgressors (note to jaquie smith there.. i volunteer). one that is particularly annoying is double parking in narrow streets even when there is a perfectly ample space a matter of yards either side of exactly where you want to stop. 4x4's are popular around here because of all the very hazardous conditions (bit like the african jungle/saudi desert/beirut all rolled into one this county...) and if you own one it seems you have to drive it in the middle of the road and glare at anyone who suggests you might like to concede half the carriageway.. and connected to this are those drivers who have no idea of the width of their vehicles: meaning they sit and wait and wait (and wait) for oncoming traffic to pass instead of driving through the MASSIVE GAP YOU COULD GET A CHIEFTAIN TANK THROUGH while i slowly die of frustration behind them.

i try and stay calm, honestly i do, but could people please (please) learn to drive before they buy a car. I'm not perfect but i don't do any of the above and I don't drive at 40 in 30 mile limits or even 30 past schools etc..

now i am going to relax.. puts on new order..

an early morning pitch inspection at the abbey allowed the game against kidderminster to go ahead. how the U's must wish it had been postponed. to be honest i thought they played quite well and were unlucky to be losing 1-0 at the break. but they just can't buy a goal (1st cliche) at the moment. i took a new face to the game, one half of my higham friends, and i think he enjoyed (endured) it well enough. he is from the west midlands so perhaps he was pleased to see the harriers do so well. they ran out 3-0 winners and this put a dent in the U's promotion surge. they will have to dig deep (that's no.2) and batter droylsden.

they need some confidence and some of the fighting spirit that seems to have been in evidence at the reebok. at half time i stopped checking the arsenal score (on the theory that you can't support two teams at once). we were 2-0 down and diaby had been sent off. but this team never knows when to lie down (no.3) and came back to win 3-2. shame that the villa rolled over so easily but at least we are going out fighting (4) and we won't let united walk away with the league without a struggle (5) its one game at a time (6) from now on, next up liverpool in the champs league - there are no easy games at this level (7) but at least we've got the winning feeling back (8) and the boys know where the goal is (9). i'm off to celebrate with a few jars of ale - its a funny old game! (10)

don't panic folks its not a real one!

ikea have some very odd soft toy choices...

this is strangely addictive, i have rewritten lots of stuff about drunkenness and gambling in the 18th century so i'm going for some lunch.. you lot can play with these sheep (if you dare)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

it is time that as a society we stood up to this sort of thing

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7316601.stm

its not about drugs or alcohol its about respect, tolerance and education: this is not just for the police or politicians or schools, teachers or even the parents to sort out, its up to all of us

just got this footage, direct from windsor, of madame sarcozy teaching prince philip how to reinvent himself as a pop star

its not my area but i just got an alert for this academic conference, it looks great so i thought i'd share

http://www.inter-disciplinary.net/ati/Monsters/M6/cfp.html

zee naughty leedle frenchman is seducing all our parliamentarians, and now ee iz going to make sweet lurve to ze queen and present her with a naughty french book on ze gee gees. zut alore eez zer no end to the scheming ways of ze frenchies?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7313570.stm

i'm all for closer ties with the continent if it means looser ties with them lot across the 'pond' but honestly, does anyone really trust this slippery right winger? 'honi soit qui mal y pense' might have been ok in the 1300s but i think these days we shouldn't be condemned for wondering exactly what M. Sarcozy wants from the new 'entente amicable'..

and does anyone else think the idea of that fashion victim-self-publicising-memory-challenged-oaf leading the england football team is the perfect choice, after all he does sum up everything that is wrong with the game in england.

so hilary clinton 'mis-poke' when she claimed she had landed in bosnia under sniper fire.. until TV footage revealed she had been met by smiling children and flowers.. does she think we are all completely stupid? she didn't mis-speak, she lied. She lied to make herself sound more impressive. this isn't a dinner party, this is the campaign to become the most powerful person in the world. i don't have a vote but if i did she wouldn't be getting it

just went shopping for groceries and something to take over to friends this afternoon who are making me supper. also felt like a nose around the shops without going somewhere huge like CMK or somewhere that requires a battle to park like the town centre. so i opted for our alternative shopping centre and the delights it brings. i'd forgotten what a depressing place it is, this 'review' kind of sums it up: (i've edited it to preserve its anonymity but some of you might recognize it)

"The spiritual home of the (.........) chav is the (............) shopping centre, which despite already having an enormous Tesco Extra has also attracted a new Lidl just outside, like a fly to a bucket of shite. Look for the stylish plastic "tubes" across (.............) Way - probably constructed to discourage chavs dropping bricks on passing cars - and marvel at the crazy escalators designed for trolleys as well as pedestrians. The whole place smells of fags and joss-sticks, a bit like a student bedroom, and there's a car accessory shop in the basement where you can chav up your Nova." my thanks to www.chavtowns.co.uk

rugby league on the radio.. what is going on? at least alan green isn't commentating eh Deana?

easter monday.. marking essays, just a few left today. 2nd years, none really good so far - even the better students seem to have been defeated by my questions this time around. i tried harder in the summer to make the questions more interesting, more challenging but i end up wondering whether i have just made them awkward and have cost the students marks as a result. sometimes i feel so responsible and (as several of you have pointed out i the past) i need to remember that it is their work and not mine that is being examined. i could have written better answers to all of these essays (with one possible exception) and i would have done more work than nearly all of them in the effort. so here we are, at 11.20, with one 1st, 5 2:1s, 6 2:2s 2 3rds and one fail. just four to go and i doubt there will be any more top top answers..

well happy easter folks, or summer finding as the norse celebrate: this is the day to celebrate the light of the sun becoming more powerful than darkness. so i wake up and the garden has turned white. no sign of the cat so i expect one of the other flats has taken pity on him and let him stop inside or perhaps he has snuck off to one of his many other 'homes'. a new feline has appeared in the garden recently: a black and white tabby, female. She is acting just like cato did two years ago: coming ever closer, emboldened. so maybe by the end of the summer i will be feeding two strays. its a slippery slope to becoming a local weirdo like the woman who plays a electric organ outside M&S (very badly) to raise money for her army of mangy cats.

i am a little at a loss today. easter sunday is never a good day for me, nothing is open - i don't have children to deny eggs to, its dangerously close to my birthday (a time of the year i traditionally dislike..it depresses me), its cold (i don't like snow..except the way it looks). i have some marking to do but have little appetite for it. at half one i will go and watch football for four or more hours in the pub. i doubt i shall enjoy that either: triumphal mancs (as they will certainly beat l'poo) then an hour and a half of nail chewing as we try and beat the chavs. tomorrow i am going to visit some friends in the late afternoon and then in the week i will get back to writing at last. most of the college chores are over once i finish this latest batch of essay marking.

i sort of want to go away for a few days but i cant decide where. i am invited to go north - to scotland - but its a very long way to go for a long weekend, strangely further than going to france. i thought about a city break - to prague or amsterdam - but until my expenses come through from lisbon my bank account is a little stretched. so perhaps i should just stay put. easter sunday.. who needs it ? no wonder people stuff themselves with anti-depressant chocs

i really must be a bit mad.. i decided that an afternoon on the newmarket road end terrace was the best way to spend easter saturday. in my support 2,500 other fools also thought cambridge vs weymouth was preferable to a day of telly and central heating. we were all very wrong. weymouth were rubbish, not helped by losing a player after ten minutes then the sub who replaced him after one tackle. the crowd were unsympathetic - 'stupid boots and your going off' (he had the latest orange boots that prem players seem to be so fond of at the minute. by the second half we had a yellow ball as the snow flurries became a proper blizzard. it made no difference to the game as the weather improved to bright sunshine. the mighty U's were far from it - they huffed and puffed and the only real bright sparks were jack jeffery (on loan from west ham) and robbie wilmott (who got 15 minutes at the end). cambridge look certain fort he play offs but they could lose momentum and miss out - or screw up the play offs - if the players perform as badly as this for the next 7 games. ebbsfleet away on tuesday, kidderminster on saturday..

just been to see the Fall.. very good but they didn't play this (the bunch of eugenes)

lots of teenagers to teach tomorrow and friday and a siberian and a dutchman for dinner on friday.. a week of excitement folks!

just spent the entire afternoon and early evening drinking with the travelers.. thought you lot might enjoy this blast from the past

albert rat likes pumpkin risotto.. and so does marvin..

if a player has been useless for you for years and you sell him he will come back and score against you when you really can't afford it.. aliaiaiaiaiadiaiaiare did so today after arsenal had dominated the game for 15 minutes. it took us until the 86th minute to equalise and we had a perfectly good goal ruled out early on. so level on points with united and three points ahead of the chavs but both have games in hand on us. we are going to have to win at OT and the bridge. soooo frustrating because we had this title in our hands and now it isn't.

on a brighter note cambridge beat woking to go back to second and look almost guaranteed a play off place.

so its the scousers for us, roma for the mancs and a bye for the russians. ambramovich's pockets are deep indeed..
im sure most gooners will have noted that IF we beat liverpool and IF we then beat chelski its barca in the final...

did you know that rats like prawns - to eat that is not as chums

so a chief policeman has been found dead in mysterious circumstances on snowdon? and the government want schoolchildren to pledge allegiance to the nation in a sort of passing out ceremony.. our nation's teenager are pretty good at passing out already but i doubt they will take kindly to saluting the flag. and johnny has been dropped from the england rugby team.. what a day of news!

tomorrow im off to darkest whitechapel with 30 of my third years, not sure who should be more nervous: the area, the students or me? i just hope i can get them all there and back without too much drunken excess, tears or injuries. read another dissertation today (5 out of 8) it was pretty good overall - at least the grammar was correct. still a bit thin on content in places, but an enjoyable read for the most part (on yoof gangs - but in the 19th century instead of today)

rats are now arguing about left over bits of prawn, or they might be grooming each other - its hard to tell as i dont speak japanese

perhaps it was the dancing, the dixie or the sambuca (how do you spell it?) that one of my students bought me, or even the late night post gig red wine that marc and i consumed but i had a weird dream. i was woken up by some friends with a huge cup of steaming espresso. now i have just bought an espresso machine but am still working it out. but they had installed this machine - which was the size of a cooker - on the kerb of a major road outside my hotel (yes i know i dont live in a hotel.. but its a dream innit?) cars were streaming by and this machine was churning out the blackest strongest cafe to the delight of my mates. i remember thinking that it was both a wonderful gesture and totally barking - i looked around for police cars because i was sure one would come and complain pretty soon. can you get a ticket for parking your espresso machine on the highway? i've never seen it in the highway code. would it apply to other household devices? kenwood chefs? ice cream makers? fondue sets? the law obviously needs tightening here. anyway when i really awoke - apart from feeling dazed i was relieved that 'it was all a dream' and i've now made some espresso - converted half of it into an americano (ooo get me) and opened the post to find my confirmation letter. so so far today is good if a bit odd. mental note - beer+newcastle brown+sambuca+red wine=strange dreams and a feeling of disorientation..

oh and for those of you who wonder what the dixie are -

well im waiting for the official official confirmation in the post but my head of department told me this afternoon that it looks like HR are moving to make my position permanent. this is really good news and it comes at the end of a week in which our department has shone and i have worked really hard to do what i enjoy most - working to help students achieve the best possible results. so tonight im off out with the travelers to enjoy the weirdness that is hayseed dixie. i saw them last april for my birthday and they've released a dodgy 'no covers' album in the meantime but i hope they will still put on a great show. Amy's coming too and i haven't seen her in ages, several of third years are also going so id better not celebrate too much. they had enough entertainment out of me today anyway - my chair collapsed halfway through a seminar and no NOT because of my size. i weigh in at about 10 and a half stone, tis just poorly made plastic rubbish we get to sit upon in our teaching rooms. at least it raised a lot of smiles and laughs - bless 'em!

well we survived the periodic subject review exercise. basically this means that an internal and external audit of our history department believes that we offer students a strong research based learning experience with good support networks. this lasts for 5 years before we go through the same thing again. the panel were very complimentary which was reassuring but it seems that our students reps were particularly keen to offer praise which is very pleasing. we even induced the head of department to take us for a post panel pint (not easy to say after a pint of the local's finest!) so a good day for us, let's hope it further persuades the powers that be to commit to my new contract.

on my second full day in lisbon i went to sintra which is about a 40 minute train ride from the city. a train ride that costs - british rail et al take note - 3.3 euros return! sintra is a weird place, very disney and its where lisboans retire to. it has a massive moorish castle on a hill that dominates the area, well preserved and rebuilt in the 19th century and only occupied by stray cats (not the rockabilly band...). from there we walked to the palcio da pena which was built in the 1800s by ferdinand II who had a taste for the gothic and is pretty kitch really. hopefully some of these pictures give you an idea. inside - where i couldn't film - are rooms done out in the mid 19th century style of the owners and they are very crowded affairs and filled with the king's own paintings. the notices describe him as an accomplished naturalist artist but to be honest he just liked painting buxom nudes - the whole place 'hey gorgeous, fancy coming over to my hilltop pad and looking at my etchings?' all right for kings i suppose

the second day in lisbon was a full day of conference papers, starting at 8.30 in the morning and ending at half six - i went to four sessions (including my own) each with four papers of 20 minutes. it started with scottish child killers and ended with detective fiction, with all sorts in between. its actually quite exhausting listening to so many speakers in a row and fighting the nerves to deliver my own half way through. i was sandwiched between a very gallic frenchman and a very nervous portuguese and i think it went ok. in the evening we all went out to the policia restaurant which seemed appropriate for historians of crime!

more later, with more pictures...

what a performance! that is the best ive seen arsenal play in a long time - superb all over the pitch and a deserved win even if we left it late. i haven't left off my chair in as much joy since micky thomas beat the scousers! i love arsenal!

and cambridge win away at oxford 2-1 to go second in the league..i lurve football tonight!!!

what a lot to do in the next two weeks! this week i have a rush (a rash?) of third years bringing in their draft dissertations for me to look at before the easter break (which is very early this year, the 14th march). on thursday we are being internally and externally assessed as a department (of history) - which means we will be asked questions about our teaching, or assessment, student feedback and all sorts - its going to take all day so we have cancelled most of our classes. tomorrow a new virtual museum project for the second years starts with an actual visit to our town museum: the students will be on virtual placements for a month or so and then be assessed in a sort of 'the apprentice' style interview after easter. i guess its virtual because we can 'place ' more students that way and because it will prepare them for 'virtually' having a job when they graduate

so Lisbon.. on the first day i landed earlier than expected and with lots of people on the plane i knew. we shared a cab to my hotel and i did little else apart from unpack, find the bar and eat a fairly ordinary tuna salad. (oh and watch man city lose to everton on the hotel tvs..). Day two (in a geordie accent naturally) i went up to the university to register for the conference. having done, met some people i knew and had lunch i went sightseeing in town with an ex-colleague i ran into. we had beer in one of the many squares, rode the efficient, clean and cheap metro (basically you can get from one side of lisbon to the other and back for less than 2 euros) we climbed up to the castelo st george to admire the view across the city - as you can see it was pretty stunning

later we found more historians and headed off to a restaurant to eat and drink - food is great but if i didn't eat fish i would have struggled. why is it that france, portugal and spain are so poor at catering for vegetarians? I mean it is 2008 and all you get is omelette; italian food at least allows you to eat some pasta and pizza dishes. it was my only grumble about lisbon which is a fine fine city is so many ways..

more tomorrow but i must return to reading drafts

from lisbon - great city, wonderful people, good times! i will post more soon but this week has already started off really busy so watch this space...