my northern friend is worried that i'm in a mess, which is odd because for most of the day I kinda think I'm pretty ok really. funny how people interpret your words though. so how am i? well today was a bit of a struggle to be honest. i found it hard to concentrate on anything for very long but had a good worky chat with my american cousin who - whisper it lads - might actually have found someone to have a long term relationship with. the serial lothario is clipping his wings! then lunch was fine, good chat over warm orange coloured soup (soup only comes in colours here: green, orange, brown and grey) and chocolate sponge with brown custard (oh take me back to my schooldays canteen!)

after lunch it was a dissertation chat with the group of keen ones - subjects: policing northants, samuel romilly, juvenile gangs, murderers through the ages and police strikes. all of them had done some work, all are reading, few had defined their approach yet. give it time. i set them a deadline - which most liked. asked if any had experienced street protest - been on a march etc. no one. what a uninspired lot! where are the radical students these days? teaching that's where.

then i had the criminologists and first of all i had to apologise for the cock ups in organisation that have blighted the first three weeks of this module. i have sorted it out though. gave me an insight into other departments and how cliques develop - this is not the case in history. we all get on - quite rare i think. reflects well on the boss who gets a bad press from some but really does her job brilliantly. then the lecture, which was ok - not as punchy as last week but i think i had most of their attention for most of the time and you can't ask for much more than that. the seminar started off slowly - grumbles about the amount of reading - reticence in coming forward. then we got talking about terrorism, ID cards, de Menezes, drugs and paedophiles. now they are more lively, everyone has an opinion and they are prepared to argue with each other. not me yet, but that will come.

got home and managed (second attempt) to install new memory into my computer - hurrah!:D

so given all of that it looks like quite a good day.. so what's the problem? well its the lack of communication when all week has been the constant stream. its ok she was out all day and not on email. there is no problem but i let myself worry about it. must not do this. be patient, follow your own advice and enjoy the evening. que sera sera.